Who really wants to go for a rollicking night down the boozer with someone who can only talk about how many muscles he has in his forearms? There are still men who spend four hours a day in the gym, think of nourishing power drinks as a jolly gastric enterprise and have diminishing genitals due to their steroid abuse, but they were bound to be spotted as unique dullards eventually. Narcissism, vanity and the search for the perfect bicep is over. It is about something altogether more wholesome. However, this all-new gay rejection of the lean physique is not about men who go to clubs such as XXL and fetishise their plentiful waistbands. If you ask the kind of gay man who drinks in Soho's bear haven the King's Arms, their collective pin-ups aren't Beckham or Travis Fimmel they are Ray Winstone, EastEnder Phil Mitchell (Steve McFadden) and Jason Turner (Christian Solimeno) from Footballers' Wives. Walter van Beirendonck, fashion überbody, has always been known in hushed terms among the stylerati as King Bear (note for straight readers: "bear" is the cuddly slang used for bearded, larger fellows who wear denim, call one another "she", and like opera). Their single, Move Your Feet, is still in the top 10, but Senior's fashion mistake is not fat - it is wearing a visor. The gay and elder half of Danish disco duo Junior Senior, cunningly known as Senior, is several tonnes of fun and has no shame in showing it. It wasn't until I first came to New York that people were into my body, but you are what you are."
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Scott, one of the few men who can claim to have done both full nude for the genius Dutch gay fashion/porn fanzine Butt and designed razzy evening wear for a Minogue, said: "I think potbellies are the sexiest. In the new issue of i-D magazine, sexually uninhibited fashion designer Jeremy Scott castigates his interviewer for his embarrassment at a potbelly.
Thankfully, people are beginning to notice that this six-pack living is tedious.
For the topless gay massive that dominated the dreary night- time landscape for the best half of the last decade, it was not just a uniform - it was the only thing to get you into the club. In certain gay cliques, the six-pack is still a Masonic handshake of both introduction and entry. The rise of the potbelly is a dawn-of-destruction moment for the kind of gay man who prizes the body beautiful above all else. They are the only men in the western world for whom Botox has become the stuff of birthday presents. Even the ugly ones are aware that Clinique is not French for hospital. But for boys? And boys involved in same-sex sexual activity? Homosexual males are traditionally the most preening, pouting, moisturised, eye-gelled, self-critical, fitted, kitted and spun-dry gym bunnies on the block.